Okay, I mailed Paul yesterday nd told him that I'll probleh never get online again. Mom went to get her hair done and gramma's supposed to be here soon. I'm on my way to go to Rose's house (aunt) so I can get some back to school stuff. Chanda's in the shower and Zakiya is places unknown.So far I feel like this:

tata for now!

Mom just came home from the dentist and I hope her mouth hurts which'll probleh make my life hell anyhoo. I'll type about chanda. Okay, so she comes in and tells me to get off the internet. I ask why and she's all "I want to use the phooone" So I said no because I was talking to Paul. Like she ever calls anyone but Anton. That greasy talent-less pig. Buy anyhoo, she goes to the jack and start acting like a fool. I got all adreneliny and I was totaly prepared to stab her ass, but I didn't have anything. In the end she ended up unplugged the modem and using the phone. Pissed me..I'm STILL pissed.

which song describes you the best? So true. I'm talking to Paul and now I wanna just curl up somewhere.

I'm used to being a sailor jupiter tough girl. Noone would ever dare to mess with me. Now that I'm in new york, I've lost my nerve and my "powers" so to speak. mom's heading off to the dentist to get a tooth pulled (hurray for pain). Speaking of "mom", I can't belive she's really my biological one. Were nothing alike and we have nothing in common: I love possiblities and she's a realist. I LOVE animals and she's alergic to them. I TRY to have feelings and show compasion and she would do anything to get money or whatever else she wants. Y'know, this rainy weather is making me feel down. But then again I'm totaly comfy in this weather. Must be my twisted mind...

I think I'm feeling a little better about things now. But still loney


I wish Paul would get home early so we could talk. I'm tired of e-mail and we've got more important things to talk about than our day. I need to know more about him and try to figure out if Eli is one of "us". He doesn't seem the type but I need to talk to him to be sure. I'm so cold and alone. Cold mostly because it's 65 degrees outside. A totaly rainy day today. I want to MOVE. ANYWHERE! I hate this stupid room that I'm living in..with 4 other people. I wish my mother would get her act together soon and rescue me from this personal hell, I really don't know how long I can go on like this!

Okay, I'm having trouble with this other blog thing. But what ever. I wonder who's reading this mess. I went shopping this weekend (finaly) but too bad it's for school. Starts next week! Noooo! To soon. I want to hide under something now!

Ugh, I can't belive I just told Chanda about this site. Ewwness. The bitch is gonna try and hack ugly bitch. Anyhoo, turns out she was at Anton's she came back wearing his hat. Remember??That day when I said she didn't come back? Whatever, I wrote mail, read mail and now I'm gone..see ya!

Oops! I posted the same thing twice! But it's gone now, so...uh...see ya later!

Sup world? I'm feeling SO peachy today. I gotta get people to come read my blog. lol, I wanna get all net famous. I watched an Avril Levine concert on mtv this morning with Lucky...Um, that's the baby bird from yesterday. You know..the one that pooped all over me...?

No biggie. But anyhoo, I talked to Paul last night, it was only for like 8 minutes but I was so happy to im him! Er, I might explain the whole situation a bit later but I'm going to play a game now. It's called true love. I miss my cat tho...I LOVE YOU JAMES! WHERE EVER YOU ARE!

Gah! Imma go on and ooooon about Paul if I start, so i'm not going to...yet! awwwwwwwww!
Ok, imma stop with all the lovey dovey
now. I think I'm starting to pick myself up from those other messages I made. Didn't mean to sound so morbid, I've got issues right now.Major issues. I really don't want to go back to skool<--yeah I know I spelled it like that! I want to hide out in the closet all year. I remember that some kids were bothering me so I cried in a bathroom stall for an hour and tore up toilett paper until it looked like new years happened. I was so mortified, I wanted to curl up and be invisible. I'm not going to say what they were bothering me about because it is SOOO embarasing! I never thought I'd EVER be picked on, by ANYONE. Okay, that was an excesive use of caps lock but I needed to punctuate some words. Oh! Chanda still isn't back yet. Should I be worried? She tends to dissapper like this, she's the bad daughter with the mean streak and no sense of desentcy OR style. Yeah, That creature named Chanda is my older sister...lucky me, huh?

My eyes hurt so much, I know I should go to bed but I want to wait until I talk to Paul.Fwaaa! Paul!
I am SO caught up!!!
Ok, eww! I was just pooped on by a very cute baby parakeet. But all is forgiven because it's not her fault! Poor thing with a broken toe and now there's something wrong with her other leg! I think the mother bit it, it might be broken a little!!! grr, I don't want to have to get rid of Gem, but I will if I have to!

Okay, I'm "talking" to this guy that someone I know refered me to. We're supposed to be like some "super people or something. I don't like this guy.I'd tell you his user name but I don't want to be spamming him, as much as I hate him. I'm on the net even though it's after 4. Where the hell is Chanda? She went to the post office early early this morning for my mom and she hasn't come back yet. I'm starting to think that something happened to her, mabey she got lost. but she's been to the post office lots of times, how would she get lost? If she's not here by seven I dunno what to do. But wait I guess. Look at me sounding all worried, I don't think I'd miss her that much if she dissappered but I'm such a softie. I dunno, I still feel sick. I konw I should eat more but there really isn't anything to eat this time. I want a fat juicey hamburger but I have nothing but a bank full of pennies. Garg! So...hungry!!!

Sometimes I wish I could be happy.

But then that would get boring. So am I supposed to suffer through my life to stay excited?sounds pretty damned stupid to me...

I must be the most pathetic person in the world. Wallowing in my sorrow and complaining about the world. I can't deal with everyone's problems and then my own at the same time... Hopefuly getting all of this out in the open will help in some way. I just want to go back to having a semi-normal life...I want my safe house back, my nice neighborhood, all my friends. I want to go to MY school, and actualy be in a high school with a MARCHING BAND. Props to you West Orange!!! The school I'm at now has the suckiest music program have ever seen! It's like a bunch af sick animals wailing at each other. But whatever, mabey I'm just being snotty...

I keep blogging stupid things, haha...I like the word. I think I'm over using it tho. Who's reading this crap anyway? Mabey I should just tell it all, but then It'll all be out in the open and I'll have no secrets. I guell I'll have to type it eventualy, but I'll wait a while.

I wonder what's gong on in Florida. Does James miss me? Does Roxanne still think of me? I'm going through right now and looking at different skins...arg! I'll leave this one up for a while. If any one for some dumb reason wants to mail me, send to mightyhelix@aol.com

Wow, I hope I can at least get this blog right. I've been searching the web for like an hour and a half trying to find something easy and good looking to use. I hope this page works out...I see that It has so now what am I going to write about? You wouldn't be able to imagine what life is like as...well, myself. I go back to school on the 5th and I can't bear too think that I'll be stuck in thoses tiny class rooms again with those mean people who talk about me behind my back. High school is turning into a terror I never knew! I feel sick and light headed! I just want to go home, I don't know how to handle things anymore. Grrr! why me? seriously? why me?